jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
