The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
