and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
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