someone get that fucking seahorse.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
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