You're so nebulous sometimes
Duck Duck Cougar?
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
