Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
