i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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