..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
