we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
These tits shall not be calmed
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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