he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize