She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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