And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
