i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
