I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
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I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
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Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
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