I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
you inspire me to be a worse person
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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