Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Randomize
