she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
