Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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