Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
