So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
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he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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