Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
