if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Randomize
