i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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