:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
