do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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