Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
