Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I can feel your judgement through the phone
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
