Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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