Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Randomize
