he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
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