Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
