I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
