you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
