carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
