We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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