I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
My brain says no but my pants say off.
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
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