So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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