Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Randomize
