Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
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