So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
