The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
