Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
