My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
