Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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