I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
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