I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Randomize