Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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