i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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