dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
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