How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
