called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
