You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
