I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize