how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
someone owes me an orgasm
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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