I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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