thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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