It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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