Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
