guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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