Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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