it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
