My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
My butt remains clenched, sir.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
